Dear Gym Moms

Some of you will read this. Those of you who probably most need to read this most likely won't, and even if you did, I doubt you'd listen. Yeah, I'm a pessimist sometimes. Still, I have a few things to say and I'm going to say them.

Gymnastics is not a team sport. However, each individual competitor contributes to a team, and the team benefits or suffers as a result. There is an essential team spirit that lifts each competitor to do their individual best as they support each other.

Gymnastics parenting is not a team activity. Each parent is responsible for his/her child and should do what is best for that child, regardless of what is going on with their teammates. However, what you do and say will have an effect on the other children as well as on the other parents. There should be an essential team spirit among the parents as well, as we support our individual athletes together, and as we support each other.

It's understandable and appropriate for each parent to make every effort to do what is best for their child. However, if someone makes efforts to get special treatment for their child while simultaneously blocking similar development for another child, the result hurts everyone. It destroys the team spirit. It destroys the vital relationships that support the individuals. It drains the joy out of the competition and replaces it with anger and hurt.

There are sure to be personal conflicts between gymnasts and also between parents of gymnasts. That's normal and expected. Often the conflicts are simple differences in personality, parenting styles, and life choices. Sometimes they come about through misperceptions, accidental insult, or overly-sensitive reactions. When it really turns ugly, however, is when the conflicts are purposefully created or reinforced through an individual or small group effort to seek what they want at the expense of others.

There are many little conflicts between the parents and the gymnasts at our gym, but there are also a few parents who have purposefully and quite effectively destroyed our team from the inside. I have no power to stop you from continuing to find better opportunities for your children at the expense of others, but I am certain that at some point what you are doing will return to you.

It's called Karma, and you've got a wall of ugliness headed back to you sometime, somehow. Today I am angry enough to wish to see it wash over you. Hopefully by tomorrow I can let that anger go, and go back to the pity I usually feel for you and for your children who can only grow up to be just like the immature, selfish adults they live with.

The optimist in me hopes you will get a clue, make different choices, and seek to mend the injuries you have created. Alas, the pessimist in me just shot the optimist.

Sincerely,
Lillian