Friday, December 12, 2014

A villanelle

I just finished re-reading Ally Condie's book Matched so that I can read the rest of the series and understand what is going on. It's been too long! I forgot the details and was lost after starting the second book. The series makes frequent reference to Dylan Thomas' poem Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night, and I was curious about the poetic form of it, then intrigued at the idea of trying it myself - even though I haven't written poetry of any kind since some rather poor attempts in a college poetry course. This poem is the result.

I scheduled this to post exactly two years after I wrote it. I think it describes how I'm feeling most of the time these days, but I don't want my mom or the two or three friends who read my blog to freak out because I wrote a poem and it isn't about rainbows and lollipops. The thing is, it is exactly what it says it is, so no freaking out should be necessary, right? (I'm not Sylvia Plath, people. Not by a long shot, darnit.) But they'd still freak out, so I'm scheduling it for later. I wonder what sort of villanelle I would actually write if I wrote it later.

Something Not Hopeless

I do not yet choose to give up all hope
Still grasping for its invisible strength
My own demons bind me tight without rope

Doubting thoughts rip my dreams, interloped
In silent explosions they claw and fang
Broken but crawling, I can't give up hope

Bright words splash through my kaleidoscope
Wishes and hopes, twirling faith down its length
My dark demons bind me tight without rope

Recurring winds loosen this thin tightrope
Unbalanced, eyes veiled and miserable hang
I must not let go and give up all hope

Bitter thoughts licked off an old envelope
Inside the letter, sweet memories up sang
My demons yet bind me down without rope

Remembered words lift, but age as I grope
Listening, I bury my dream where it sprang
I do not yet choose to give up all hope
My own demons bind me tight without rope

© 2012 Lillian Horne Angelovic


Wednesday, September 24, 2014

The Latest


This blog is on hiatus while I do some living in some other places right now. I'm sure I'll be back to it later, but for now I'm back in school (who knew that could happen?!?) studying social media marketing, working on an online game streaming project with my younger son, building my long-stagnant LDS Scripture-of-the Day project, running every chance I get, supporting my older kids in their college and service mission efforts, and trying to carve out both reading and writing time between homework - usually at 3:00 a.m. Sadly, I'm not doing a lot of reading, writing, or housework. Feel free to drop by and fold some laundry.


Sunday, January 19, 2014

T/F Answer to #13 (A real spoiler)

SPOILER ALERT!
Don't read this unless you're ready to know which is the false statement in the last True/False post.

The false post is: 4. I only WISH this were false, and that they could drive themselves. Sadly, no licenses at our house yet. I'm still driving kids around. Taking the bus and train does happen around here, but not enough. It takes up more time and costs more than driving,  for most things. Better to just do it myself.

I am done with blogging for now, however. It's official. There wont be anything to see here for a while, until I have a need to use this blog for something other than random and rather boring stuff about myself. Thanks to my two readers for sticking around so long! I'll be back eventually with a more useful purpose. Until then, chocolate for everyone! :)